From our past memories and present experiences, we know that ups and downs to our feelings and emotions are part of our existence. As per our biological requirement, our attention and efforts drive us to reach the peak of rewards, but, we often fail to achieve that. An equilibrium between these ups and downs happens but doesn’t last for long and we mostly fail. All these emotions that go up and down are driven by our attention which is based on our perception. Adopting a mutually beneficial attitude can give you the achievement that you desire.
We often fail to constantly keep our relationships with others. Usually our relationships collapse due to the collision of ideas. When two different ideas arise on the same situation or a matter, we hold one’s idea as supreme. Specially when the matter is relevant or important to us, we see one’s idea as more reasonable. In many cases, ideas from both sides could be right. For example, when the number 6 or 9 are seen by two people from different locations, one sees the number as 6 and one sees the number as 9. Theoretically, both of them are right, what they have seen is a true fact. But, neither of them would say 6 is 9 or 9 is 6. Because they are perceiving information from different angles, their judgement concludes in a different way. In our own life too, we face such situations many times, in such a way that our ego comes forward to support our ideas and narrow our scope. Such egotistic thinking comprises our understanding and results in collapsing our relationships.
Psychologically, our brain prefers to take short cuts, to consume less energy. In any given situation, our brain unconsciously interprets the incoming sensory experiences according to past ones stored in long term memory, and makes a perception. Any perception that is being made in a short cut way, always results in irrational decision-making. A study, from a psychologist at Duke university (Journal of Neuroscience, 2017) suggests that cognitive shortcuts result in serious thinking errors. That is why sometimes we prefer to take some time to think and make a decision. In such way, our brain doesn’t pick up the information which lies first in line, it rather picks the best one.
Many of our views and decisions are more self-centered. Our biological system requires us to selfishly do what is best for our survival. Which is why our ego is always ready to offer its service. Although the egotistic way is seemingly helpful in some situations, it creates a barrier that stops us from being altruistic, rational and optimistic.
Being rational and optimistic helps us to see a situation or a matter from a different angle, gives us farsighted vision, makes us selfless in order to understand others. It gives us more space to wisely adopt a perfect angle to deal with the situation in a mutually beneficial way. Thus, it strengthens our relationships.
Although we all are genetically differentiated only by 0.2 % still, we individually have different preferences under different conditions. By understanding and accepting this, having a mutually beneficial attitude will easily solve any conflict between friends family and so on. Coming up with a view based on our deep understanding of others will provide you more calmness and happiness. This inner warm feeling will always feed you good rewards and you will experiences more ups and less down emotions. A good reward is what our bodies and minds need.